Trieste, Italy & Postojna, Slovenia

Hail fellows!

It all happened a long time ago, in a place far, far away… (for those readers suffering from fantasy aversion disorder, that is to say, it happened this morning in Central Europe) …when the mighty King was joined by the beautiful Queen on a quest to visit the elusive fairytale land of the Predjama Castle, located in a cave in the faraway land of Postojna  (pronounced pow · stoy ·nuh).

They were joined by a band of misfits and weary travelers as they made their way from the quaint town of Trieste (pronounced tree ·est-e). As the wanderers left the comforts of the Italian coast, over hills and beautiful valleys they forged, until they crossed over into the mountains of Slovenia. These heavily forested areas are said to be home to more fearsome bears and wolves than anywhere else throughout the lands, but the band of travelers saw none. 

Eventually, they stumbled upon the quaint village of Postojna, home of the second greatest caverns in the mystical country of Slovenia. The Queen delighted in learning that the 15 mile cave system was renown far and wide as the first grotto to have its own underground railway system. 

The King took joy in the gaining of much wisdom on their trek, as the locals shared fables of the brave legion of Slovene Partisans discovering one-thousand barrels of an elixir known as “aircraft fuel” in the cave’s rocky subterranean during the great ancient battle called WWII. The barrels were set ablaze, and the ensuing fires burned for seven days and seven nights, leaving the mouth of the great cave blackened even today. Upon the destruction of the elixir, the evil Nazi empire was dealt a fearsome blow, and went on to lose the great war, securing sovereignty for the mystical Slovenia empire.

Inside of the cave, the King and Queen saw many great rocks, while riding the train many miles into the chasms. On a long walk through the tunnels, they gazed upon rare “baby dragons” the locals call Olms.

Gathering the band of travelers together once more, the local guides lead them further into the forest until they finally fell upon the 700 year-old magical castle. Built into a deep cave on the side of a rocky mountain, the castle provided refuge to its inhabitants throughout the wars of many centuries. The back walls of all of the rooms in the castle were the stone of the cave itself, while the outside walls were fortified against attacks from other warring kingdoms. The many stories of the tall castle were joined by jagged stone staircases, carved into the stone against the back walls, and the great halls were rustic, but beautiful. 

During the 7th epoch, one brave knight was said to have been a local Robin Hood-like hero, providing food to the villagers behind the back of the evil leader. He accidentally killed a friend of the leader, who declared the brave knight his arch enemy. Unable to breach the castle stronghold, the leader’s men decided to starve the knight out. However, unbeknownst to the wicked warriors, the knight and his followers snuck out each night through the caverns under the cave, joining the villagers for evenings of food and frolicking. 

Alas, after years of siege, a trusted jester turned on the great knight, sharing with the leader’s men that the castle’s water-closet (the small outbuilding on the top left edge of the castle) was unfortified. He agreed to hold a colored flag in the castle window when the great knight was complete his nightly duties. The wicked leader’s warriors fired a single cannonball, killing the great knight. While the siege was ended, the valley of the magical castle felt sorrow. And to this day, the tale of the great knight is told throughout the lands.

As the quest wound down, the great King and the beautiful Queen returned to Trieste with their humbled covey. Here they gazed upon the beautiful Hungarian influenced architecture, and feasted with the villagers on the local pasta with pesto and jumbo prawns. Though the air appeared foggy, the great king learned that the fog was created from winds blowing dust in from the faraway lands called the Sarahs, causing a fine red dust to settle upon the lands.

Later that evening, when leaving the bay of Trieste on a ponderous schooner, the King and the beautiful Queen gazed upon the largest sailboat in Middle-earth, said to have once been owned by an evil Russian oligarch before being seized by the great rulers of Italy under the mysterious rules known as EU Sanctions.

As the Great King sighed, the beautiful Queen held him tights, and they looked to the horizon contemplating their next great journey, and the many more stories to come.

We thank thee.
– Mike  
“Atticus told me to delete the adjectives and I’d have the facts.” – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird